MI My 17 year old daughter ran away from her Dad's house - - and came back to my house. A 16 year old may ask for a … My 9 year old son is expressing a lot of dissatisfaction about having to miss out on his key events to visit his father. There are alternatives. Another possibility is for your ex and your son to see a counselor together to try to resolve the issues between them. When she was 7, she wanted a relationship with him and I reached out to him, only to be rejected. If a case of emotional abuse was substantiated by Child Protective Services, but I can't get a guardian ad litem appointed and her former counselor won't testify, what options do I have? I do not have control of his attendance when he is required to visit his father. You could have someone else do the hand-offs, so that you and your ex are not together. Over 14 years of age, a child cannot be adopted unless they consent. However, once they become teens, it is harder to force them to go. This is not at all abnormal. © 2001-2020 WomansDivorce.com. ~Brette~. However, whether you like it or not he is your dad and will be for the rest of your life. She absolutely refuses and said if i force her to go back to his house, she'll run away again. Jill writes: Please give me some help and advice. Michigan Custody Guideline State Court Administrative Office Friend of the Court Bureau 309 N. Washington Square P.O. It also sounds like the exchanges are filled with tension and this could be making your son upset, or more upset. We attended mediation and mutually agreed in writing that our daughter could choose when to go on visits. Most kids have resistance to visitation at some point. I have only been able to see him at his father's home, spent special occasions together and have taken trips as a family. Brette's Answer: I think it's terrific that you have made the effort to allow your daughter time with her father. He has made a club level soccer team, which requires more of a commitment. Would a judge order counseling if my son doesn't want to see me? Diane's Question: My daughter is 18 but still a senior in high school. Why is your son afraid? Brette's Answer: If you do not send your children on visitation, it is considered custodial interference which can be the grounds for a change in custody. At 9 and 12, they are old enough to express an opinion, but their opinion is not going to be decisive. She is still a minor and it's in her best interest to have two parents in her life. He may also be having a typical teenage clash with his dad about rules or responsibilities. Lisa's Question: I am another single mom with a visitation issue and concern. Many states’ laws, however, require judges to consider a child’s custodial preference when determining child custody. Is it hard to deal with school while going and back and forth like this? Are they allowed to make that decision? Vida's Question: My 14 year old son has been refusing to live with me and has stayed with his father. If you and your ex can work together and present a united front, it will help her get through it. Brette's Answer: It is difficult when children reach an age where they start to have commitments that don't mesh with visitation. Otherwise, he will take me to court. Ami's Question: My ex-husband was charged with emotional maltreatment of our 15-yr old daughter. Asking for some visitation and counseling is an excellent idea. Help! Is it legal for a teen to choose if they want to go or not? A finding of child abuse is significant and persuasive to the court. Can I choose if I want to go to his house on the weekends or can he force me? You could also find out what about the visitation it is that he doesn't like. On the other hand, it is pretty difficult to force a teenager to visit the other parent if they don’t want to. Ask that a guardian ad litem be appointed to represent the children and their point of view so that the court can be made aware of why they don't want to go on visitation. I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. Bernadette's Question: The father of my 17 1/2 yr. old daughter has never had any type of contact with her. Would they benefit from a little more stability? If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware. At that point, it is up to the child and parent to continue their relationship as they wish. Above all else, courts in Michigan strive to make custody and visitation decisions that are "in the best interests of the child". As long as you arrange the visitation times and make your son available, it's unlikely a court would have any problem with what you're doing. Specifically, MCL 712A.2 provides that the juvenile courts have power over a juvenile under 17 years of age when they desert their home. Instead of going to stay at his dad's house, what if he just had dinner with him or went to a sporting event one night a week or once every two weeks? Show him you want to make it work. I would also suggest you try to talk to your ex yourself and tell him you're on his side and you want your son to go, but that he is at an age where forcing him to go is just going to cause resentment. I try to tell him it is court ordered and he should try to improve his relationship by going and talking to his dad. Brette's Answer: No you don't. Get an attorney and present your allegations to the court about why he should not have custody. His father is not going to fight me for custody. I tried to convince her that by law (until she's 18) - - she needs to abide by the visitation schedule. Is he encouraging them to go? 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